In  Gold 

GeorjeBarr 
M=Cutcheon 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


BY  THE   SAME  AUTHOR 

Graustark 

Castle  Craneycrow 

Brewster's  Millions 

The  Sherrods 

The  Day  of  the  Dog 

Beverly  op  Graustark 

The  Purple  Parasol 

Nedra 

Cowardice  Court 

Jane  Cable 

The  Flyers 

The  Daughter  of  Anderson  Crow 

The  Husbands  of  Edith 

The  Man  from  Brodney's 

The  Alternative 

Truxton  King 

The  Butterfly  Man 

The  Rose  in  the  Ring 

What's-  His-Name 

Mary  Midthorne 

Her  Weight  in  Gold 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


By 


George  Barr  McCutcheon 

Author  of  "Graustark" 
"Beverly  of  Graustark,"  etc. 


Illustrated  by  H.  Devitt  Welsh 


New  York 

Dodd,  Mead  and  Company 

1912 


Copyright,  1912,  by 

DODD,  MEAD  AND  COMPANY 

Published    April,    1912 


?5 

%5XS 


To 
James  Whitcomb  Riley 


^o^Qf: 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


1 


ELL,  the  question  is:  how 
much  does  she  weigh  ?  ' 
asked  Eddie  Ten  Eyck 
with  satirical  good  humor. 
His  somewhat  flippant 
inquiry  followed  the  heated 
remark  of  General  Horatio 
Gamble,  who,  in  despera- 
tion, had  declared  that  his 
step-daughter,  Martha,  was  worth  her 
weight  in  gold. 

The  General  was  quite  a  figure  in  the 
town  of  Essex.  He  was  the  president 
of  the  Town  and  Country  Club  and,  be- 
sides owning  a  splendid  stud,  was  also 
the  possessor  of  a  genuine  Gainsborough, 

[9] 


*     Her  Weight  in  Gold 

picked  up  at  the  shop  of  an  obscure 
dealer  in  antiques  in  New  York  City 
for  a  ridiculously  low  price  (two 
hundred  dollars,  it  has  been  said), 
and  which,  according  to  a  rumour 
started  by  himself,  was  worth  a  hun- 
dred thousand  if  it  was  worth  a  dollar, 
although  he  contrived  to  keep  the 
secret  from  the  ears  of  the  county  tax 
collector.  He  had  married  late  in  life, 
after  accumulating  a  fortune  that  no 
woman  could  despise,  and  of  late  years 
had  taken  to  frequenting  the  Club  with 
a  far  greater  assiduity  than  is  customary 
in  most  presidents. 

Young  Mr.  Ten  Eyck's  sarcasm  was 
inspired  by  a  mind's-eye  picture  of  Miss 
Martha  Gamble.  To  quote  Jo  Grigsby, 
she  was  "  so  plain  that  all  comparison 
began  and  ended  with  her."  With- 
out desiring  to  appear  ungallant,  I  may 

[10] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

say  that  there  were  many  homely  young 
women  in  Essex;  but  each  of  them  had 
the  delicate  satisfaction  of  knowing  that 
Martha  was  incomparably  her  superior 
in  that  respect. 


[ii] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  I  am  not  jesting,  sir,"  said  the  Gen- 
eral with  asperity.  "  Martha  may  not 
be  as  good-looking  as — er — some  girls 
that  I've  seen,  but  she  is  a  jewel,  just 
the  same.  The  man  who  gets  her  for 
a  wife  will  be  a  blamed  sight  luckier  than 
the  fellows  who  marry  the  brainless  little 
fools  we  see  trotting  around  like  butter- 
flies." (It  was  the  first  time  that  Eddie 
had  heard  of  trotting  butterflies.) 

"  She's  a  fine  girl,"  was  his  con- 
ciliatory remark. 

"  She  is  pure  gold,"  said  the  General 
with  conviction.     "  Pure  gold,   sir." 

"  A  nugget,"  agreed  Eddie  expan- 
sively. '  A  hundred  and  eighty  pound- 
nugget,  General.  Why  don't  you  send 
her  to  a  refinery? " 

The  General  merely  glared  at  him 
and  subsided  into  thoughtful  silence. 
He    was    in    the    habit    of    falling    into 

[12] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

deep  spells  of  abstraction  at  such  times 
as  this.  For  the  life  of  him,  he  couldn't 
understand  how  Martha  came  by  her 
excessive  plainness.  Her  mother  was 
looked  upon  as  a  beautiful  woman  and 
her  father  (the  General's  predecessor) 
had  been  a  man  worth  looking  at,  even 
from  a  successor's  point  of  view.  That 
Martha  should  have  grown  up  to  such 
appalling  ugliness  was  a  source  of  won- 
der, not  only  to  the  General,  but  to 
Mrs.  Gamble  herself. 

Young  Mr.  Ten  Eyck  was  the  most 
impecunious  spendthrift  in  Essex.  He 
lived  by  his  wits,  with  which  he  was 
more  generously  endowed  than  any- 
thing in  the  shape  of  gold  or  precious 
jewels.  His  raiment  was  accumulative. 
His  spending-money  came  to  him 
through  an  allowance  that  his  grand- 
mother considerately  delivered  to  him  at 

[14] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

regular  periods,  but  as  is  the  custom 
with  such  young  men  he  was  penniless 
before  the  quarter  was  half  over.  At 
all  times  he  was  precariously  close  to 
being  submerged  by  his  obligations. 
Yet  trouble  sat  lightly  upon  his  head, 
if  one  were  to  judge  by  outward  ap- 
pearances. Beneath  a  bland,  care-free 
exterior,  however,  there  lurked  in  Ed- 
ward's bosom  a  perpetual  pang  of  dis- 
tress over  the  financial  situation. 

What  worried  him  most  was  the  con- 
viction that  all  signs  pointed  toward  the 
suspension  of  credit  in  places  where  he 
owed  money,  and,  as  he  owed  without 
discrimination,  the  future  seemed  hard 
to  contemplate. 

Prudent  mothers  stood  defiantly  be- 
tween him  and  what  might  have  been 
prosperity.  He  could  win  the  hearts  of 
daughters  with  shameful  regularity  and 

[15] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

ease,  but  he  could  not  delude  the  heads 
of  the  families  to  which  they  belonged. 
They  knew  him  well  and  wisely. 

The    conversation    between    him    and 


General  Gamble  took  place  in  the  read- 
ing-room of  the  Town  and  Country 
Club.  There  was  a  small  table  between 
them,  and  glasses. 

"  What   is   the   market   price   of   gold 

[16] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

to-day,  General?"  asked  Eddie  im- 
pudently, after  he  had  watched  the  old 
man's  gloomy  countenance  out  of  the 
corner  of  his  eye  for  the  matter  of  three 
minutes  or  more. 

The  General  regarded  him  with  deep 
scorn.  "  Gold?  What  do  you  know 
about  gold?  You  seldom  see  anything 
more  precious  than  copper." 

"  That's  no  joke,"  agreed  Eddie  with 
his  frank  smile.  "  I  am  the  only, 
original  penny  limit.  That  reminds  me, 
General.  I  meant  to  speak  of  it  before, 
but  somehow  it  slipped  my  mind.  Could 
you  lend  me " 

The  General  held  up  his  hand.  '  I've 
been  waiting  for  that,  Eddie.  Don't 
humiliate  yourself  by  asking  for  a  small 
amount.  I  haven't  the  remotest  idea 
how  much  you  already  owe  me,  but 
it    doesn't   matter   in    view    of   the    fact 

[17] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

that  you'll  never  pay  it.  You  were 
about  to  request  the  loan  of  ten  dollars, 
my  boy.  Why  not  ask  for  a  respect- 
able amount? — say,  fifty  dollars." 

Eddie's  heart  leaped.  "  That's  just 
the  amount  I  meant  to  ask  you  to  let 
me  have  for  a  week  or  two.  'Pon  my 
word,   it   is." 

'  Well,"  said  the  General,  taking  a 
notebook  from  his  pocket  and  carefully 
jotting  down  an  entry  with  his  gold- 
tipped  pencil,  '  I  cheerfully  give  it  to 
you,  Eddie.  I  shall  credit  your  account 
with  that  amount.  Fifty  dollars — um! 
It  is  a  new  system  I  have  concluded 
to  adopt.  Every  time  you  ask  me  for 
a  loan  I  shall  subtract  the  amount  from 
what  you  already  owe  me.  In  time, 
you  see,  the  whole  debt  will  be  lifted, 
and  you'll   not   owe   me  a  cent." 

Eddie    blinked.     A    slow    grin    crept 

[18] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

into   his   face   as  he   grasped   the   irony 
in  the  General's  scheme. 

"  Fine  financing,  General.  It  suits 
me  to  a  dot.  By  the  way,  do  you  think 
you  can  spare  another  hundred  or  two  ? ' 

"  The  books  are  closed  for  the  month," 
said  the  General  placidly.  He  rang  the 
bell  on  the  table.  "  More  ice,  boy,  and 
the  same  bottle.  As  I  was  saying, 
Eddie,  I  can't  for  the  life  of  me  see 
why  you  fellows  are  so  blind  when  it 
comes  to  Martha.     She  is " 

"  We  are  not  blind,"  interrupted 
Eddie,  not  at  all  annoyed  by  his  failure 
to  negotiate  the  loan.  "  That's  just  the 
trouble.  If  a  blind  man  came  along, 
I've  no  doubt  he  could  see  something 
attractive  in  her." 

"Damme!  If  she  were  my  own 
daughter,  I'd  thrash  you  for  that  re- 
mark, sir." 

[19] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


"  If  she  were  your  own  daughter, 
you  wouldn't  be  discussing  her  with  a 
high-ball  in  your  hand." 

The  General  coughed.  "  Ahem! 
Eddie,  I'd  give  a  good  deal  to  see 
that  girl  married.  Leave  the  bottle  on 
the  table,  boy.  She  will  have  money — 
a  lot  of  it — one  of  these  days.  There 
are  dozens  of  young  men  that  we  know 
who'd    do    'most    anything    for    money. 

I By  George!'      He  broke  off  to 

[20] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

stare  with  glittering  eyes  at  the  face 
of  the  young  man  opposite.  A  great 
thought  was  expanding  in  his  brain. 

Eddie  shifted  nervously.  "  Why  are 
you  looking  at  me  like  that?  I  don't 
need  it  that  badly." 

"  I'd  never  thought  of  you,  Eddie, 
— 'pon  my  word  I  hadn't.  Not  until 
this  moment.  You  need  money  worse 
than  any  one  I  know.  There  isn't 
another  girl  in  town  who  would  marry 
you,  and  Martha  would.  Believe  me, 
she  would!  And  let  me  tell  you,  sir, 
you  couldn't  find  a  truer  wife  than 
Martha.     You " 

"  She  couldn't  help  being  true,"  mused 
Eddie,  rattling  the  ice  in  his  empty 
glass.  The  General  pushed  the  bottle 
toward    him. 

"  She  is  a  bit  older  than  you,  I'll 
admit,"  pursued  the  General  reflectively. 

[21] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

'  Worth  her  weight  in  gold,"  he  mur- 
mured with  a  sort  of  ecstasy  in  his 
voice. 

Young  Ten  Eyck  assumed  an  injured 


[22] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

air.  "  I  am  poor,  General  Gamble,  but 
I  am  not  blind." 

"  She  likes  you,"  went  on  the  older 
man,  revelling  in  the  new-found  hope. 
"  You  don't  amount  to  much, — and  she 
knows  it,  I  suppose, — but  you  can  have 
her,  my  boy.  She'll  be  the  richest  girl 
in  Essex  when  I  die.  Take  her,  my 
boy;  I  gladly  give  my  consent.  Will 
you  permit  me  to  congratu " 

'  One  moment,  if  you  please.  In  a 
case  like  this,  you  would  never  die.  It 
would  be  just  my  luck.  No,  I  thank 
you.  I  decline  the  honour.  If  you 
could  perforin  a  miracle  and  transform 
her  into  real  gold,  I  might  consider 
the  proposition,  but  not  as  it  now 
stands." 

"  She  weighs  about  one-eighty,"  said 
the   General  speculatively. 

Eddie  glanced  at  him  sharply.     "  One 

[23] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

hundred    and    eighty    pounds    in    gold. 
Quite  a  pile,  eh? ' 

The  General  was  silent  for  a  long 
time,  permitting  the  vague  idea  to  thrive 
in  his  harassed  mind.  His  young  com- 
panion was  moodily  trying  to  estimate 
the  value  of  one  hundred  and  eighty 
pounds  of  virgin  gold. 

At  last  the  General  reached  a  con- 
clusion. It  was  a  rather  heroic  effort. 
He  relighted  his  cigar  with  trembling 
fingers. 

"  I  suppose  you  haven't  heard  of  the 
wedding  present  I  intend  to  bestow 
upon  the  fortunate  man  who  leads  her 
to  the  altar?"  said  he,  casting  the  fatal 
die. 

"No;  but  a  separate  house  and  lot 
wouldn't  be  despised,  I  should  say." 

"  Nonsense.  By  the  way,  Eddie,  this 
must  not  go  any   farther.     It's   strictly 

[24] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


entre  nous.  I  don't  want  to  have  the 
dear  girl  pestered  to  death  by  fortune 
hunters.  On  his  wedding  day  the  man 
who  marries  Martha  is  to  have  the 
equivalent  of  her  weight  in  double  eagles. 
Isn't  that  ra-ather  handsome? ' 

He  sank  back  and  waited  for  the 
seed  to  sink  deeply  into  Ten  Eyck  soil. 
Eddie's  eyelids  flickered.     The  grin  of 

[25] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

a  Cheshire  cat  came  to  his  lips  invol- 
untarily and  remained  there  without 
modification  for  the  matter  of  an  hour 
or  two. 

"  Great!  "  he  said  at  last. 

"  I  must  be  on  my  way,"  observed 
the  wily  step-father,  beating  a  retreat 
so  hastily  that  Eddie  missed  the  oppor- 
tunity to  scoff.  But  the  contemplative 
smile  remained  just  as  he  had  left  it. 

Several  days  passed  before  the  two 
met  again.  The  General  had  sowed 
wisely,  and  he  was  reasonably  certain 
of  the  harvest.  He  knew  that  it  would 
be  hard  for  young  Ten  Eyck  to  bring 
himself  to  the  sacrificial  altar;  but  that 
he  would  come  and  would  bend  his 
neck  was  a  foregone  conclusion.  He 
went  on  the  theory  that  if  you  give  a 
man  rope  enough  he'll  hang  himself, 
and  he   felt  that  Eddie  was  almost   at 

[26] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


the  end  of  his  rope  in  these  cruel  days. 

As    for    Eddie,    he    tried   to    put    the 

thought   out   of   his   mind,   but   as   time 

[27] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

went  on  he  caught  himself  many  times 
—  (with  a  start  of  shame) — trying  to 
approximate  the  worth  of  Martha  Gam- 
ble on  the  basis  set  forth  by  her  step- 
father. The  second  day  after  the  inter- 
view he  consulted  a  friend  of  his  who 
happened  to  be  a  jeweller.  From  him 
he  ascertained  the  present  market  value 
of  twenty-four  carat  gold.  So  much 
for  the  start! 

His  creditors  were  threatening  to  sue 
or  to  "black-list'  him;  his  friends  long 
since  had  begun  to  dodge  him,  fearing 
the  habitual  request  for  temporary  loans; 
his  allowance  was  not  due  for  several 
weeks.  Circumstances  were  so  harsh 
that  even  Martha  appeared  desirable  by 
contrast.  He  felt  an  instinctive  longing 
for  rest,  and  peace,  and — pecuniary  abso- 
lution. 

He   was   therefore   deserving   of   pity 

[28] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

when  he   finally   surrendered  to   the  in- 
evitable.    How  he  cursed  himself — (and 


his  creditors) — as  he  set  out  to  find  the 
General  on  that  bright  spring  day  when 

[29] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

every  other  living  creature  on  earth 
seemed  to  be  happy  and  free  from  care. 
Kismet ! 

General  Gamble  was  reading  in  a 
quiet  corner  of  the  Club.  That  is  to 
say,  he  had  the  appearance  of  one  read- 
ing. As  a  matter  of  fact,  he  had  been 
watching  Eddie's  shy,  uncertain  evolu- 
tions for  half  an  hour  or  more,  and 
he  chuckled  inwardly.  As  many  as 
ten  times  the  victim  strolled  through 
the  reading  room,  on  the  pretext  of 
looking  for  some  one.  Something  told 
the  General  that  he  was  going  to  lose 
Martha. 

At  last  Eddie  approached  him.  He 
came  with  the  swift  impetuosity  of  a 
man  who  has  decided  and  is  afraid  to 
risk  a  reaction. 

'  Hello,  General,"  was  his  crisp 
greeting   as  he  dropped   into  the   chair 

[30] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


which  the  astute  old  gentleman  had 
placed,  with  premeditation,  close  to  his 
own  some  time  before.  He  went 
straight  to  the  point.  '  I've  been  think- 
ing over  what  you  said  the  other  day 
about  Martha.     Well,   I'll  marry  her." 

[31] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

''  You!  "  exclaimed  the  General,  simu- 
lating  incredulity.      "You!" 

"  Yes.  I'll  be  it.  How  much  does 
she  really  weigh?  " 

"  Are — are  you  in  earnest,  my 
boy?"  cried  the  other.  'Why,  she'll  be 
tickled  to  death!" 

"May  I  have  her?" 

"  God  bless  you, — yes! " 

"  I  suppose  I  ought  to  go  up  and 
see  her  and — and  tell  her  I  love  her," 
said  Eddie  lugubriously.  "  Or,"  with 
a  fine  inspiration,  "  perhaps  you 
wouldn't  mind  telling  her  for  me. 
I " 

"  Tell  her  yourself,  you  young  ras- 
cal," cried  the  General  in  fine  good 
humour,  poking  his  prospective  stepson- 
in-law  in  the  ribs. 

Eddie  winced.  :  You  can  do  that  to 
me  now,  but  if  you  jab  me  in  the  ribs 

[32] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold, 

after  I'm  married  I'll  jab  you  in  the 
eye. 

"  Good!  I  like  your  spirit.  Gad,  I 
love  a  fighting-man!  And  now,  my  boy, 
it  seems  to  me  there's  no  sense  in  de- 
laying matters.  You  have  my  consent. 
As  a  matter  of  form,  you  ought  to  get 
Martha's.  She'll  take  you,  of  course, 
but  I — I  suppose  she  would  like  the 
idea  of  being  proposed  to.  They  all 
do.  I  daresay  you  two  can  settle  the 
point  in  a  jiffy  in  some  quiet  nook  up 

at    the But,    there!      I    shall    not 

offer  suggestions  to  you  in  an  affair 
of  the  heart,  my  son.  Will  you  be  up 
to   see   her  this   evening? " 

Eddie  drew  a  long  breath.  "  If — if 
she  has  no  other  engagement." 

"Engagement?"  gasped  the  General 
with  popping  eyes.  '  She  hasn't  sat  up 
after  eight  o'clock  in  four  years,  except 

[33] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

on  Christmas  Eve.  You  won't  be  dis- 
turbed; so  come  around." 

"  Perhaps,  to  be  sure  of  rinding  her 
up,   I'd  better  come  to   dinner." 

"  By  all  means.  Stay  as  late  as  you 
like,  too.  She  won't  get  sleepy  to-night. 
Not  a  bit  of  it."     He  arose  to  depart. 

'  Just  a  moment,  General,"  said  Ed- 
die curtly.  "  We've  got  a  few  pre- 
liminaries to  arrange  before  I  commit 
myself.  Here  is  a  paper  for  you  to 
sign.  Business  is  business,  you  know, 
and  this  is  the  first  really  business-like 
thing  I've  ever  done.  Be  good  enough 
to  read  this  paper  very  carefully  before 
signing." 

General  Gamble  put  on  his  glasses 
and  read  the  brief  but  ample  contract 
which  bound  him  to  pay  to  Edward  Pea- 
body  Ten  Eyck,  on  the  day  that  he  was 
married  to  Martha  Gamble,   for  better 

[34] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

or  for  worse,  an  amount  equivalent  to 
the  value  of  her  weight  in  pure  gold. 
He  hesitated  for  one  brief,  dubious  mo- 


[35] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

ment,  then  called  for  pen,  ink,  and 
paper.  When  these  articles  were 
brought  to  him,  he  deliberately  drew  up 
a  second  contract  by  which  Edward  Ten 
Eyck  bound  himself  to  wed  Martha 
Gamble  (and  no  other)  on  a  day  to  be 
named  by  mutual  consent  at  a  later  date 
— but  not  very  much  later,  he  was 
privately  resolved. 

"  Now,"  said  he,  "  we'll  each  sign  one. 
You  sha'n't  get  the  better  of  me,  my 
boy." 

Each  signed  in  the  presence  of  two 
waiters,  neither  of  whom  knew  the 
nature  of  the  instruments. 

"  Troy  weight,"  said  the  General 
magnanimously.  "  She  is  a  jewel,  you 
know." 

"  Certainly.  It's  stipulated  in  the 
contract — twenty-four  carat  gold.  You 
said    pure,    you    remember.      You    may 

[36] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

have  noticed  that  I  take  her  at  the  pre- 
vailing market  price  of  gold.  It  is  now 
four  cents  a  carat.  Twenty-four  carats 
in  a  pennyweight.  That  makes  ninety- 
six  cents  per  pennyweight.  Twenty 
pennyweight  in  an  ounce,  and  there  we 
have  nineteen  dollars  and  twenty  cents 
per  ounce.  We'll — we'll  weigh  her  in 
by  ounces." 

"  That's  reasonable.  The  price  of 
gold  isn't  likely  to  fluctuate  much." 

"  It  must  be  distinctly  understood  that 
you  keep  her  well-fed  from  this  day  on, 
General.  I  won't  have  her  fluctuating. 
She  hasn't  any  silly  notions  about  re- 
ducing, has  she? " 

"  My  dear  fellow,  she  poses  as  a 
Venus,"  cried  the  General. 

"  Good!  And  here's  another  point: 
Pardon  me  for  suggesting  it,  but  you 
understand  that  she's  to  weigh  in — er — 

[38] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


that   is    to    say,    her   clothing   is   to    be 
weighed  in  with  her." 
"What's  that?" 

[39] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  You  heard  what  I  said.  She's  to 
be   settled   for — dressed." 

"Good  Lord,  she  isn't  a  chicken!' 

"  Nobody  said  she  was.  It  is  fit  and 
proper  that  her  garments  should  be 
weighed  with  her.  Hang  it  all,  man, 
I'm  marrying  her  clothes  as  well  as  any- 
thing else." 

"  I  will  not  agree  to  that.  It's  pre- 
posterous." 

"  I  don't  mean  her  entire  wardrobe. 
Just  the  going-away  gown  and  hat.  You 
can't  very  well  ask  her  to  weigh  herself 

without  any But  as  gentlemen  we 

need  not  pursue  the  matter  any  farther. 
You  shall  have  your  way  about  it." 

"  She  has  a  fine  pair  of  scales  in  her 
bedroom.  She  weighs  herself  every 
night  for  her  own  gratification.  I  don't 
see  why  she  can't  do  it  once  or  twice 
for  my  sake." 

[40] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  But  women  are  such  dreadful  liars 
about  their  own  weight.  She'll  be  sure 
to  lop  off  fifteen  or  twenty  pounds  in  the 
telling.     Hang  it,  I  want  witnesses." 

The  General  assumed  a  look  of  dis- 
tress. '  Remember,  sir,  that  you  are 
speaking  of  your  future  wife.  You'll 
have  to  take  her  word." 

Eddie    slumped    down    in    his    chair, 
muttering 
something 
about  niggard- 
liness. 

"  I  suppose 
I'll  have  to 
concede  the 
point."  His 
eyes  t  w  i  n- 
kled.  ' '  I  say, 
it  would  be  a 
horrible  shock 

'[41] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

to   you,    General,  if  she   were   to   refuse 
me  to-night. ' ' 

'  She  sha — won't! "  said  the  Gen- 
eral, setting  his  jaw,  but  turning  a 
shade  paler.  "  She'll  jump  at  the 
chance." 

Eddie  sighed  dismally.  "  Doesn't  it 
really  seem  awful  to  you?" 

"  Having  you  for  a  son-in-law? 
Yes. 

"  You  know  I'm  only  doing  this  be- 
cause I  want  to  set  up  in  business  for 
myself  and  need  the  money,"  explained 
the  groom-elect  in  an  effort  to  justify 
himself.  "  Oh,  another  little  point.  I'd 
almost  forgotten  it.  I  suppose  it  will 
be  perfectly  convenient  for  us  to  live 
with  you  for  a  year  or  two,  until  I " 

"  No!  "  thundered  the  General.  "  Not 
by  a  long  shot !  You  go  to  housekeeping 
at  once,  do  you  understand? " 

[42] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 
"  But  think  of  her  poor  mother's  feel- 


ings  

"  Her  mother  has  nothing  whatever  to 
do  with  it,  sir.  See  here,  we'll  put  that 
in  the  contract."  He  was  visibly  dis- 
turbed by  the  thought  of  what  the  over- 
sight might  have  meant  to  him.  '  And 
now,  when  shall  we  have  the  wedding? " 

'  Perhaps  we'd  better  leave  that  to 
Martha." 

"  We'll  leave  nothing  to  anybody." 

'  She'll  want  to  get  a  trousseau  to- 
gether and  all  that  sort  of  thing.  I'm 
ready  to  go  through  with  it  at  any 
time,  but  you  know  what  girls  are." 
He  was  perspiring. 

;  Yes,"  said  the  General  with  a 
reminiscent  light  in  his  eye.  "  I  daresay 
they  all  enjoy  a  few  weeks  of  court- 
ship and  love-making." 

Eddie  gulped  suddenly  and  then  shot 

[43] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

a  quick,  hunted  look  toward  the  buffet 
door. 

"Have  a 
drink?"  de- 
manded the 
other  abrupt- 
ly. He  had 
caught  the  sign 
of  danger. 

They  strolled 
into  the  buffet, 
arm  -  in  -  arm, 
one  loving  the 
world  in  gen- 
eral, the  other 
hating  every- 
body in  it,  in- 
cluding the 
General.  Be- 
fore they  parted  Eddie  Ten  Eyck  ex- 
tracted a  solemn  promise  from  his  future 

[44] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

step- father-in- law  that  he  would  ascertain 
Martha's  exact  weight  and  report  the 
figure  to  him  on  the  following  day. 

'  It  will  seem  easier  if  I  know  just 
about  what  to  expect,"  explained  the 
young  man. 

That  very  afternoon  the  General,  with 
a  timidity  that  astonished  him,  requested 
his  step-daughter  to  report  her  correct 
weight  to  him  on  the  following  morning. 
He  kept  his  face  well  screened  behind 
his  newspaper  while  speaking,  and  his 
voice  was  a  little  thick. 

"What  for,  father?"  asked  Martha, 
looking  up  from  her  book  in  surprise. 
Her  eyes  seemed  to  grow  even  larger 
than  the  lenses  of  her  spectacles. 

'  Why,  you  see — er — I'm  figuring  on 
a  little  more  insurance,"  he  stammered. 

'  What  has  my  weight  to  do  with  it? ' 

'  It  isn't  life  insurance,"  he  made 
[45] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

haste  to  explain.  A  bright  idea  struck 
him.  "It  is  fire  insurance,  my 
dear." 

"  I  don't  see  what  my " 

"  Of  course  you  don't,"  he  interrupted 
genially.  '  It's  this  way.  The  fire  in- 
surance companies  are  getting  absurdly 
finicky  about  the  risks.  Now  they  in- 
sist on  knowing  the  weight  of  every  in- 
mate of  the  houses  they  insure.  Has 
something  to  do  with  the  displacement  of 
oxygen,  I  believe.  Your  mother  and  I 
— and  the  servants,  too — expect  to  be 
weighed  to-night." 

"  Oh,"  she  said,  and  resumed  her 
reading. 

He  waited  for  a  while,  fumbling  nerv- 
ously with  his  watch  chain. 

"  By  the  way,  my  dear,"  he  said, 
"  what  have  you  been  doing  to  that 
bully  chap,  Eddie  Ten  Eyck?" 

[46] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


Doing    to     him?       What     do     you 


mear 
« 


Just  what  I  say." 
"  I  haven't  seen  the  miserable  loafer 
in   months,"   she   said.     Her   voice   was 

[47] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

heavy,  but  unlike  that  of  a  man.  For 
some  reason  she  shuffled  uneasily  in  her 
chair.  The  book  dropped  into  her 
capacious  lap. 

"  You've  been  doing  something  be- 
hind my  back,  you  sly  minx,"  he  chided. 
"  What  do  you  think  happened  to- 
day?" 

"To  Eddie  Ten  Eyck?" 

"  In  a  way,  yes.  He  came  up  to  me 
in  the  Club  and  asked  my  permission 
to  pay — er — court  to  you,  my  dear.    He 

said  he  loved  you  better  than Hey! 

Look    out    there!      What    the    dev 

Hi,  Mother!  Come  here  quick!  Good 
Heaven,  she's  going  to  die!  " 

Poor  Martha  had  collapsed  in  a  heap, 
her  arms  dangling  limply  over  the  side 
of  the  chair,  her  eyes  bulging  and  blink- 
ing in  a  most  grotesque  manner.  At 
first  glance  one  would  have  sworn  she 

[48] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

was  strangling.  Afterwards  the  General 
denounced  himself  as  an  unmitigated 
idiot  for  having  given  her  such  a  shock. 
He  ought  to  have  known  better. 

Mrs.  Gamble  rushed  downstairs  in 
great  alarm,  and  it  was  not  long  before 
they  had  Martha  breathing  naturally, 
although  the  General  almost  made  that 
an  impossibility  by  the  ruthless  manner 
in  which  he  fanned  her  with  the  very 
book  she  had  been  reading — a  heavy 
volume  which  he  neglected  to  open. 

The  whirligig  room  reduced  itself  to 
a  library  for  Martha  once  more,  not  so 
monotonous  as  it  once  had  been,  no 
doubt,  but  still  a  library.  Out  of  the 
turmoil  of  her  own  emotions,  she  man- 
aged to  grasp  enough  of  what  the  Gen- 
eral was  saying  to  convince  herself  that 
this  was  not  another  dream  but  a  reality, 
and    she    became    so    excited    that    her 

[50] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


cm 


y    ^>; 


mother  advised  her  to  go  to  bed  for  a 
while  before  dinner,  if  she  expected  to 
appear  at  her  best  when  Eddie  arrived. 

[51] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

For  the  first  time  since  early  child- 
hood, Martha  blushed  as  she  attempted 
to  trip  lightly  upstairs.  As  a  matter  of 
fact,  she  did  trip  on  next  to  the  top 
step  and  sprawled.  Under  ordinary  cir- 
cumstances she  would  have  been  as  mad 
as  a  wet  hen,  but  on  this  happy  occa- 
sion she  merely  cried  out,  when  her 
parents  dashed  into  the  hall  below  on 
hearing  the  crash: 

"It's  good  luck  to  fall  upstairs!' 

The  fires  of  life  had  been  rekindled, 
and  when  such  a  thing  happens  to  a  per- 
son of  Martha's  horse-power,  the  effect 
is  astonishing.  At  four  o'clock  she  be- 
gan dressing  for  the  coming  suitor. 
When  he  arrived  at  seven,  she  was  still 
trying  to  decide  whether  her  hair  looked 
better  by  itself  or  with  augmentations. 

Below,  in  the  huge  library,  Eddie  Ten 
Eyck    sat    disconsolate,    nervously    con- 

[52] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

templating  the  immediate  future.  He 
was  all  alone.  Not  even  a  servant  was 
to  be  seen  or  heard.  It  was  as  still  as 
the  Christmas  Eve  whose  jingle  we  love 
so  well. 


[53] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

Never  in  all  his  aimless  existence  had 
he  felt  so  small,  so  unimportant,  so  put- 
upon  as  at  this  moment.  His  gaze, 
sweeping  the  ceiling  of  the  library,  tried 
to  penetrate  to  the  sacred  precincts  above. 
Even  the  riches  and  the  stateliness  of 
the  Gamble  mansion  failed  to  reim- 
burse his  fancy  for  the  losses  it  was 
sustaining  with  each  succeeding  minute 
of  suspense.  Dimly  he  recalled  that 
General  Gamble  had  spent  nearly  half 
a  million  dollars  in  the  construction 
of  this  imposing  edifice.  The  library 
was  worth  more  than  one  hundred  thou- 
sand dollars;  the  stables  were  stocked 
with  innumerable  thoroughbreds;  the 
landed  estate  was  measured  by  sections 
instead  of  acres;  the  stocks  and  bonds 

were But  even  as  he  considered  the 

question  of  assets,  there  surged  up  be- 
fore him  an  overwhelming  liability  that 

[54] 


cs 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

brought  the  General's  books    to  balance. 

By  this  time,  Eddie  had  become  so 
proficient  in  the  art  of  rapid  calculation 
that  he  could  estimate  within  a  few 
ounces  just  what  a  person  would  have 
to  weigh  in  order  to  be  worth  as  much 
as  the  library,  the  mansion,  or  the  bonds. 
The  great  Gainsborough  that  hung  in 
the  west  end  of  the  room  corresponded 
in  value  (if  reports  were  true  concern- 
ing the  price  Gamble  had  paid  for  it) 
to  a  woman  weighing  a  shade  over  two 
hundred  and  three  pounds  troy. 

He   lifted   a   handsome   bronze   figure 
from   the   library   table   and  murmured: 
'  It's  worth  a  ten-pound  baby,  twenty- 
two  hundred  dollars  and  a  fraction." 

The  General  came  in,  followed  closely 
by  the  butler,  who  bore  a  tray  holding  at 
least  ten  cocktails.  After  the  greetings, 
Eddie  glanced  uneasily  at  the  cocktails. 

[56] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


'  Is — is  it  to  be  as  big  a  dinner  as  all 
this?"  he  asked  ruefully. 

[57]" 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  Oh,  no.  Just  family,  my  boy ;  we 
four.  The  women  don't  drink,  Eddie, 
so   help    yourself." 

Eddie  gratefully  swallowed  three  in 
rapid  succession. 

"  I  see  you  mean  to  make  it  abso- 
lutely necessary  for  me  to  take  the  gold 
cure,"  he  said  with  a  forlorn  smile. 

Martha  put  in  appearance  at  seven- 
thirty,  having  kept  dinner  waiting  for 
half  an  hour,  much  to  the  amazement 
of  those  who  had  lived  with  her  long 
enough  to  know  her  promptness  in  ap- 
pearing for  meals. 

Mr.  Ten  Eyck,  who  was  a  rather 
good-looking  chap  and  fastidious  to  a 
degree,  did  not  possess  the  strength  to 
keep  his  heart  anywhere  near  the  cus- 
tomary level.  It  went  hurtling  to  his 
very  boots.  He  shook  hands  with  the 
blushing    young    woman    and    then    in- 

[58] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

voluntarily  shrank  toward  the  cocktails, 
disregarding  the  certainty  that  he  would 
find  them  lukewarm  and  tasteless. 

She  was  gotten  up  for  the  occasion. 
But,  as  it  was  not  her  costume  that  he 
was  to  embrace  in  matrimony,  we  will 
omit   a   description   of   the   creation   she 


[59] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

wore.  It  was  pink,  of  course,  and 
cut  rather  low  in  order  to  protect 
her  face  from  the  impudent  gaze  of 
man. 

Her  face?  Picture  the  face  of  the 
usual  heroine  in  fiction  and  then  con- 
trive to  think  of  the  most  perfect  an- 
tithesis, and  you  have  Martha  in  your 
mind's  eye  much  more  clearly  than 
through  any  description  I  could  hope  to 
present. 

She  was  squat.  Her  somewhat  brawny 
shoulders  sloped  downward  and  for- 
ward— and  perhaps  a  little  sidewise,  I 
am  not  sure  about  that.  Her  hair  was 
straw-coloured  and  stringy  in  spite  of 
the  labour  ,3he  had  expended  on  it  with 
curling-iron  and  brush.  As  to  her  face, 
the  more  noticeable  features  were  a  very 
broad,  flat  nose;  a  comparatively  chin- 
less  under  jaw,  on  which  grew  an  acci- 

[60] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

dental  wisp  of 
hair  or  two;  a 
narrow  and  per- 
manently dec- 
orated upper 
lip.  When  she 
smiled  —  well, 
the  effect  was 
discouraging, 
to  say  the  least. 
Her  eyes  were 
pale  and  prom- 
inent. In  spite 
of  all  this,  practice  in  rouging  might  have 
helped  her  a  little,  but  she  had  had  no 
practice.  Young  men  never  came  to  the 
house,  and  it  was  not  worth  while  to 
keep  up  appearances  for  the  old  ones 
who  were  content  to  dodder  at  the  end 
of  the  way.  You  would  say  at  a  glance 
that  she  was  a  very  strong  and  enduring 

[61] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

person,  somewhat  along  the  lines  of  a 
suffragette  ward  politician. 

The  dinner  was  a  genial  one,  after 
all.  The  General  was  at  his  best,  and 
the  wine  was  perfect.  In  lucid  moments, 
Eddie  found  himself  reflecting:  "  If  I 
can  drink  enough  of  this  I'll  have  de- 
lirium tremens  and  then  I  won't  have  to 
believe  all  that  I  see." 

Martha  had  always  called  him  Eddie. 
In  fact,  every  one  called  him  Eddie.  He 
was  that  sort  of  a  chap.  To-night,  he 
observed,  with  a  hazy  interest,  she  ad- 
dressed him  as  Mr.  Ten  Eyck,  and  rather 
frequently,  at  that.  It  was :  "  Do  you 
really  think  so,  Mr.  Ten  Eyck? "  or 
"  How  very  amusing,  Mr.  Ten  Eyck," 
or  "  Good  gracious,  Mr.  Ten  Eyck," 
until  poor  Eddie,  unused  to  this  distinc- 
tion, reached  a  point  where  he  muttered 
something  in  way  of  protest  that  caused 

[62] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

the  General  to  cough  violently  in  order 
to  give  his  guest  a  chance  to  recover  him- 
self before  it  was  too  late. 

After  dinner  the  General  and  Mrs. 
Gamble  retired  somewhat  precipitously, 
leaving  the  young  people   alone. 

Eddie  heaved  a  tremendous  sigh  of 
decision  and  bravely  crossed  the  room. 
Martha  was  seated  upon  the  davenport, 
nervously  toying  with  her  fan.  He  saw 
with  misgiving  that  she  evidently  ex- 
pected something  was  going  to  happen. 
Her  eyes  were  downcast. 

He  stood  silent  and  somewhat  awed 
before  her  for  many  minutes,  taking  the 
final  puffs  at  an  abbreviated  cigarette. 
Then  he  abruptly  sat  down  at  the  op- 
posite end  of  the  couch.  As  he  did  so, 
she  thought  she  heard  him  mutter  some- 
thing about  "  one  hundred  and  seventy, 
at  the  lowest." 

[64] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

'  So  many  people  have  given  up  play- 
ing golf,  Mr.  Ten  Eyck,"  she  said.  '  I 
am  surprised 
that  you  keep 
it  up." 

"Golf?"  he 
murmured 
blankty. 

"Weren't 
you  speaking 
of  your  score 
for  the  eighteen 
holes?" 

He  gazed  at 
her  helplessly 
for  a  moment, 
then  set  his 
jaw. 

"  Say,  Martha,"  he  began,  in  a  high 
and  unnatural  treble,  '  I  am  a  man  of 
few  words.     Will  you  marry  me?     Oh! 

[65] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

Ouch!  What  the  dickens  are  you  do- 
ing? O — oh!  Don't  jump  at  me  like 
that!" 

The  details  are  painful  and  it  isn't 
necessary  to  go  into  them.  Suffice  it  to 
say,  she  told  him  that  he  had  always 
been  her  ideal  and  that  she  had  wor- 
shipped him  from  childhood's  earliest 
days.  He,  on  the  other  hand,  confessed, 
with  more  truth  than  she  could  have 
guessed,  that  he  had  but  recently  come 
to  a  realisation  of  her  true  worth,  and 
what  she  really  meant  to  him. 

She  set  the  wedding  day  for  November 
the  eleventh, — just  seven  weeks  off. 

Before  leaving, — she  kept  him  until 
nearly  twelve, — he  playfully  came  up 
behind  her  as  she  stood  near  the  table, 
and,  placing  his  hands  under  her  el- 
bows, said: 

"  Hold  'em  stiff  now." 

[66] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


Then,  to  her  amazement,  he  tried  to 
lift  her  from  the  floor.  He  couldn't 
budge  her. 

[67] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  It's  all  right,"  he  exclaimed  exult- 
antly and  refused  to  explain. 

That  night  in  his  dreams  an  elephant 
came  along  and  stood  for  a  while  on 
his  chest,  but  he  was  used  to  it  by  that 
time,  and  didn't  mind. 

The  next  morning,  General  Gamble 
reported  by  telephone  that  Martha 
weighed  one  hundred  and  sixty-eight 
pounds  and  nine  ounces.  A  minute 
later,  Eddie  was  at  his  desk  calculating. 

On  the  twenty-third  of  September  she 
weighed  two  thousand  and  twenty-five 
ounces  troy.  At  nineteen  dollars  and 
twenty  cents  an  ounce  she  was  then 
worth  $38,880.  With  any  sort  of  luck, 
he  figured,  she  might  be  expected  to 
pick  up  a  few  pounds  as  the  result  of  her 
new-found  happiness  and  peace  of  mind. 
Her  worries  were  practically  over.  Con- 
tented people  always  put  on  flesh.     If 

[68] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

everything  went  well,  she  ought  to  rep- 
resent at  least  $40,000  on  her  wedding 
day.     Perhaps  more. 

He  haunted  the  Country  Club  by  day 
and  the  town  clubs  by  night,  always  pre- 
occupied and  figuring,  much  to  the 
astonishment  of  his  friends  and  cronies. 
He  scribbled  inexplicable  figures  on  the 


[69] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

backs  of  golf  cards,  bar  checks,  and 
menus. 

By  the  end  of  the  first  week  he  had 
made  definite  promises  to  all  of  his 
creditors.  He  guaranteed  that  every  one 
should  be  paid  before  the  middle  of 
November.  Moreover,  he  set  aside  in 
his  calculations  the  sum  of  $7,000  for  the 
purchase  of  a  new  house.  Early  in  the 
second  week  he  had  virtually  expended 
$15,000  of  what  he  expected  to  receive, 
and  was  giving  thanks  for  increased 
opportunities. 

He  called  at  the  Gamble  house  regu- 
larly, even  faithfully.  True,  he  urged 
Martha  to  play  on  the  piano  nearly  all 
of  the  time,  but  to  all  intents  and  pur- 
poses it  was  a  courtship. 

When  the  engagement  was  announced, 
the  town — in  utter  ignorance  of  the  con- 
spiracy— went     into     convulsions.       The 

[70] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


half-dozen  old  maids  in  upper  circles 
who  had  long  since  given  up  hope  began 
to   prink   and   perk   themselves   into   an 

[71] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

amazing  state  of  rejuvenation, — revival, 
you  might  say.  They  tortured  them- 
selves with  the  hope  that  never  dies. 
They  even  lent  money  to  impecunious  gen- 
tlemen who  couldn't  belive  their  senses 
and  went  about  pinching  themselves. 

Eddie  Ten  Eyck's  credit  was  so  good 
that  he  succeeded  in  borrowing  nearly 
five  thousand  dollars  from  erstwhile 
adamantine  sceptics. 

One  day  the  General  met  him  in  the 
street.  The  old  soldier  wore  a  troubled 
look. 

"  She's  sick,"  he  said  without  pre- 
amble. "  Got  pains  all  over  her  and 
chills,  too." 

"Is  it  serious?"  demanded  Eddie. 

"  I  don't  know.  Neither  does  the  doc- 
tor. He's  waiting  for  developments. 
Took  a  culture  to-day.  She's  in  bed, 
however." 

[72] 


mmt 


I 


**-, 


e? 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  She  must  not  die,"  said  Eddie,  a 
desperate  gleam  in  his  eye.  '  I — can't 
afford  to  have  anything  like  that  happen 
now.     Can't  she  be  vaccinated?' 

At  the  end  of  the  second  day  there- 
after it  was  known  all  over  town  that 
Martha  Gamble  was  ill  with  typhoid 
fever.  She  was  running  a  temperature 
of  104  degrees  and  two  doctors  had 
come  up  from  New  York  to  consult 
with  the  Essex  physician,  bringing  with 
them  a  couple  of  trained  nurses.  They 
said  her  heart  was  good. 

After  the  consultation,  the  General 
and  Eddie  sat  alone  in  the  library,  woe- 
begone and  disconsolate. 

"  They  think  they  can  pull  her 
through,"   said  the   former  vaguely. 

"Curse  'em,"  grated  Eddie;  "they've 
got  to  do  it.  If  there  is  the  least  pros- 
pect of  her  dying,  General,  I  must  insist 

[74] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

that  the  wedding  day  be  moved  forward. 
I'll — I'll  marry  her  to-day.  By  Jove, 
it  might  go  a  long  way  toward  reducing 
her  temperature." 

'  Impossible!  We  shall  stick  to  the 
original  agreement." 

"  Confound    you,    I    believe    you    are 


[75] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

hoping  she'll  die  before  the  eleventh  of 
November.  It  would  be  just  like  you, 
General  Gamble." 

"  I'm  not  hoping  for  anything  of  the 
sort,   sir,"  thundered  the  other.     "  But, 

if  it  should  happen "     He  did  not 

finish  the  sentence,  but  there  was  a  green 
light  in  his  eyes. 

Eddie  was  silent  for  many  minutes. 

"  And  if  she  should  die,  where  do  I 
come  in,  or  get  off,  or  whatever  is  the 
proper  thing  to  say  in  the  circumstances? 
It  wouldn't  be  fair  to  me,  General  Gam- 
ble. You  know  it  wouldn't.  It  would 
be  a  damned  outrage.  Here  am  I,  a 
devoted  lover,  eager  to  make  her  happy 
— to  make  her  last  moments  happy  ones, 
mind  you,  and  you  sit  there  and  deny 
her  the  consolation  of " 

"  All's  fair  in  love,  my  boy,"  said  the 
General  blandly. 

[76] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"Rats!" 

"  Martha  wasn't  strong  enough  to 
stand  the  excitement.  It  was  like  a 
sudden  and  frightful  change  in  the 
weather.  Her  constitution  couldn't 
fight  it  off." 

"  Constitution?    Good  Lord!  " 

"  We  ought  to  make  allowances,  my 
boy." 

"  I  am  in  no  position  to  make  allow- 
ances.   Are  these  doctors  any  good?' 

"  The  best  in  New  York  City." 

"And  the  nurses?  Everything  de- 
pends on  good  nursing." 

"  They  are  real  Canadians." 

"  General,  up  to  the  time  I  was  eleven 
years  old  I  said  my  prayers  every  night. 
I'm  going  to  begin  again  to-night,"  said 
Eddie  solemnly,  as  he  passed  his  hand 
across  his  brow. 

The   days  went  by   with  monotonous 

[78] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


similarity.  Bright  or  dark,  wet  or  dry, 
they  looked  the  same  to  Eddie  Ten 
Eyck.  At  first  he  had  been  permitted 
to  visit  her  once  or  twice  a  day,  staying 
for  a  few  minutes  on  each  occasion.    Af- 

[79] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

ter  a  while  the  visits  were  stopped  by 
the  doctor's  order.  But  still  he  haunted 
the  Gamble  mansion.  He  waylaid  the 
doctor;  he  bribed  or  coerced  the  nurses; 
he  watched  the  sick-room  door  with  the 
eye  of  a  hungry  dog;  he  partook 
inordinately  of  the  General's  liquors. 
Martha  was  delirious,  that  much  he  was 
able  to  gather  by  persistent  inquiry.  She 
seemed  obsessed  with  the  idea  that  she 
and  Eddie  were  to  keep  house  in  Heaven, 
with  two  cherubs  and  a  hypodermic 
syringe. 

Mrs.  Gamble  was  deeply  touched  and 
not  a  little  surprised  by  the  devotion  of 
her  daughter's  fiance.  She  turned  to 
him  in  these  hours  of  despair  and  gave 
to  him  a  large  share  of  her  pity  and 
consolation.  She  asked  him  to  pray  for 
Martha.  He  said  he  had  been  praying 
for  some  one  else  nearly  all  his  life,  but 

[80] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

henceforth    would    put    in    a   word    for 
Martha. 

The  wedding  day  was  near  at  hand 
when  an  unexpected  and  alarming  com- 
plication set  in.  The  doctors  were  hur- 
riedly gathered  in  consultation.  There 
was  a  crisis. 
One  of  the 
nurses  confided 
to  Mr.  Ten 
Eyck  that  there 
was  no  hope, 
but  the  other 
declared  that  if 
the  patient  sur- 
vived  the 
eighth  of  No- 
vember she 
would  ' '  be  out 
of  the  woods. ' ' 
The  eighth  was 

[81] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

three  days  off.  Those  three  days  were 
spent  by  Eddie  in  a  state  of  fearful 
suspense.  He  implored  Providence  and 
Fate  to  stand  by  him  until  after  the 
eleventh.  He  went  so  far  as  to  add  a 
couple  of  days  to  include  the  thirteenth, 
not  being  superstitious.  The  night  of  the 
eighth  was  a  memorable  one.  No  one  in 
the  Gamble  house  went  to  bed.  The 
ninth  came  and  then  the  doctors  ap- 
peared with  glad  tidings.  The  crisis  was 
past  and  there  was  every  chance  in  the 
world  for  the  patient  to  recover,  unless, 
of  course,  some  unforeseen  complication 
intervened. 

Eddie  staggered  out  to  the  stables  and 
performed  a  dance  of  joy. 

"What's  her  temperature?'  he  de- 
manded of  one  of  the  grooms,  absently 
repeating  a  question  he  had  asked  five 
thousand    times    during    the    past    few 

[82] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


weeks.       '  I   beg   your   pardon,    Smith." 
Then    he    hurried    back    to    the    house. 

[83] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

Meeting  one  of  the  doctors  he  gripped 
him  by  the  arm. 

'  Is  she  sure  to  live,  doc — doctor? ' 

"  Forever,"  said  the  doctor,  meaning 
to  comfort  him. 

"No!"  gasped  Eddie. 

"  Let  me  congratulate  you,  Mr.  Ten 
Eyck.  She  is  quite  rational  now  and — 
pardon  me  if  I  repeat  a  sick-room 
secret — she  declares  that  there  shall  be 
no  postponement  of  the  wedding.  She 
is    superstitious    about    postponements." 

Eddie  hesitated.  'Ahem!  Is — is  she 
emaciated?  " 

"  No  more  than  might  be  expected." 

'  I — I  hope  she  hasn't  wasted  very 
much." 

'  Skin  and  bones,"  said  the  doctor 
with  the  most  professional  bluntness. 

Eddie  mopped  his  brow.  "  You — you 
don't   mean  it!     See   here,   doctor,   you 

[84] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

ought  to  advise  very  strongly  against 
the — er — marriage  at  this  time.  Tell 
her    it    would   kill    her.      The    shock,    I 


[85] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

mean.  I  am  willing  to  wait — God 
knows,  I  am  only  too  willing  to  wait — 
until  she  is  strong  and  well  and  herself 
once  more.     Tell  her " 

'  Perhaps  you  would  better  talk  it 
over  with  her  father,  Mr.  Ten  Eyck.  I 
am  not " 

"Her  father "  began  Eddie,  but 

caught  himself  up. 

"  I  would  not  answer  for  her  safety 
if  a  postponement  were  even  suggested. 
Her  heart  is  set  on  it,  my  dear  fellow. 
She  will  be  strong  enough  to  go  through 
with  it." 

"  But  I  want  to  be  married  in  church." 

"  I  daresay  you  will  agree  with  me 
when  I  say  that  your  feelings  are  not 
to  be  considered  in  a  crisis  of  this  kind," 
said  the  doctor  coldly,  and  moved  away. 

At  noon  on  the  eleventh  Martha  awoke 
from  a  sound  and  restful  sleep.     Sweet 

[86] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

lassitude  enveloped  her,  but  her  mind 
went  groping  for  something  that  had 
been  troubling  her  in  a  vague  sort  of 
way  for  the  last  forty-eight  hours. 

"  Is  it  the  eleventh? "  she  whispered, 
stretching  out  her  hand  to  the  watchful 
nurse. 

;  Yes,  my  dear.     Now  try  to  go  to 
sleep  again " 

"  Where  is  Mr.  Ten  Eyck?  " 

"Sh!" 

"What  time  is  it?" 

"  Now  don't  worry  about  the 
time " 

"  Is  it  night  or  day? " 
It  is  noon. 

"  I  am  to  be  married  at  eight  o'clock 
this  evening,  Miss  Feeney." 

"  Yes,  yes,  I  know,"  soothingly. 

"  You  might  send  word  to  Mr.  Ten 
Eyck  that  I  shall  be  ready.     He  may 

[87] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

forget  the  ring  unless  you  tell  him  that 

— there — is — to  be — no   post "     She 

went  to  sleep  in  the  middle  of  postpone- 
ment. 

While  the  nurses  were  preparing  her 
for  the  ceremony,  General  Gamble  sent 
word  into  the  sick-room  that  the  doctor 
desired  her  correct  weight — for  scientific 
purposes. 

The  patient,  too  weak  to  help  herself, 
was  lifted  upon  the  scales,  where  she  re- 
mained long  enough  for  it  to  be  seen  that 
she  weighed  seventy-three  pounds  and 
eight  ounces.  She  was  then  hustled  into 
bed,  but  seemed  to  be  in  even  better 
spirits  than  before,  confiding  to  the 
nurses  that  she  knew  Mr.  Ten  Eyck 
was  partial  to  slender  women,  and  that 
if  she  had  anything  to  do  with  it  she'd 
never  weigh  more  than  one  hundred  and 
ten  again,  "  as  long  as  she  lived." 

[88] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  One    hundred    and    ten    is    a    lovely 
weight,  don't  you  think,  Miss  Feeney  ? ' 
she   asked. 

Miss  Feeney  was  feeling  her  pulse. 
The  other  nurse  was  trying  to  stick  a 
mouth  thermometer  between  the  patient's 
lips. 

"  It  is  a  much  lovelier  weight  than 
seventy-three,"  said  Miss  Feeney  gently. 

The  General,  in  the  privacy  of  his 
bed-chamber,  reduced  the  pounds  to 
ounces  and  found  that  Martha,  in  her 
present  state,  represented  eight  hundred 
and  eighty-four  ounces.  He  could  not 
suppress  a  chuckle,  even  though  he  felt 
very  mean  about  it.  She  was  worth 
$16,972  in  gold.  Her  illness  had  cost 
him  approximately  $2000  in  doctors' 
fees,  et  cetera,  but  it  had  cost  Eddie 
Ten  Eyck  $21,911  in  pure  gold,  with 
twenty  cents  over  in  silver. 

[89] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

It  is  said  that  the  bridegroom  almost 
collapsed  when  he  looked  for  the  first 
time  upon  his  emaciated  investment.  It 
was  worse  than  he  had  expected.  She 
was  literally   "  skin  and  bones." 

Mechanically,  semi-paralysed,  he  made 
the  responses  to  the  almost  staccato 
words  of  the  clergyman.  The  ceremony 
was  hurried  through  at  a  lively  rate,  but 
to  Eddie  it  seemed  to  take  hours.  Her 
fingers  felt  like  a  closed  fan  in  his  own 
pulseless  hand.  He  replied  "  I  do  "  and 
"  I  will "  without  really  being  aware  of 
the  fact,  and  all  the  time  he  was  gazing 
blankly  at  her,  trying  to  remember 
where  he  had  seen  her  before. 

Away  back  in  the  dim,  forgotten  ages 
there  was  a  robust,  squat,  valuable  fig- 
ure; but — this!  His  brain  reeled.  He 
was  being  married  to  an  utter  stranger. 
His  loss  was  incalculable. 

[90] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

We  will  speed  over  the  ensuing 
months.  It  goes  without  saying  that 
Martha  became  well  and  strong  and 
abominably    vigorous   in   the   matter    of 

appetite.   Her  days  of  convalescence 

But  why  go  into  them?  They  are 
interesting  only  to  the  person  who  is 
emerging  from  a  period  of  suffering 
and  fasting.  Why  dwell  upon  the  re- 
flections of  Eddie  Ten  Eyck  as  he 
saw  an  erstwhile  stranger  transformed 
into  an  old  acquaintance  before  his  very 
eyes?  Why  go  into  the  painful  details 
attending  the  stealthy  payment  of  nearly 
$17,000  by  the  party  of  the  first  part 
to  the  party  of  the  second  part,  and  why 
tell  of  the  uses  to  which  the  latter  was 
compelled  to  put  this  meagre  fortune 
almost  immediately  after  acquiring  it? 
No  one  cares  to  be  harassed  by  these 
miserable,   mawkish  details. 

[92] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

One  really  needs  to  know  but  one 
thing:  the  bridegroom  soon  stood  shorn 
of  all  his  ill-gotten  gains,  unless  we 
except  the  wife  of  whom  no  form  of 
adversity  could  rob  him. 

A  month  after  the  wedding,  Eddie 
was  eagerly  awaiting  the  fourth  quar- 
terly instalment  of  his  allowance.  He 
was  out  of  debt,  it  is  true,  but  he  never 
had  been  poorer  in  all  his  life.  The 
thing  that  appalled  him  most  was  the 
fact  that  he  had  unlimited  credit  and 
did  not  possess  the  courage  to  take 
advantage  of  it.  He  could  have  bor- 
rowed right  and  left;  he  could  have 
run  up  stupendous  accounts;  he  could 
have  lived  like  a  lord.  But  Martha, 
before  she  was  really  able  to  sit  up  in 
bed,  began  to  talk  about  something  in 
a  cottage, — something  that  made  him 
turn  pale  with  desperation, — and  bread 

[93] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

and  cheese  and  kisses,  entirely  with  an 
eye  to  thrift  and  what  Eddie  considered 
a  nose  for  squalor.  He  couldn't  imag- 
ine anything  more  squalid  than  a  sub- 
sistence on  the  three  commodities  men- 
tioned. In  fact,  he  preferred  starva- 
tion. 

Martha  harped  for  hours  at  a  stretch 
on  how  economically  she  could  conduct 
their  small  establishment,  once  they  got 
into  the  house  he  had  bound  himself 
to  buy  in  his  days  of  affluence.  She 
seemed  to  take  it  for  granted  that  she 
would  be  obliged  to  skimp  and  pinch 
in  order  to  get  along  on  what  Eddie 
would  be  able  to  earn. 

"  Our  meat  and  grocery  bills  will  be 
almost  nothing,  Eddie  dear,"  she  said 
one  day,  with  an  enthusiasm  that  dis- 
couraged him.  "  You  see,  I  mean  to 
keep  my  figure,  now  that  I've  got  it.     I 

[94] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

sha'n't  eat  a  thing  for  days  at  a  time. 
We'll  have  no  meat,  nor  potatoes,  nor 
sugar " 


"  Just    bread    and    cheese,"    said    he 
wanly. 

"  And    something    else,"    she    added 
coquettishly. 

"  Kisses  are  fattening,"   he  said. 

'  Goodness!  Who  ever  told  you 
that?"  she  cried  in  dismay. 

'  A  well-known  specialist,"  he  said, 
his  mind  adrift. 

'  Well,  there  is  one  thing  sure,  Ed- 
die," she  declared  firmly;  'we  will  not 
go  into  debt  for  anything.  We  posi- 
tively must  keep  out  of  debt.  I  won't 
have  you  worrying  about  money  matters. " 

'  I'm  not  likely  to,"  said  he  with  con- 
viction. 

He  then  began  to  watch  for  signs  of 
decrepitude  in  the  General. 

[95] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

As  soon  as  Martha  was  strong  enough 
to  travel,  her  step-father  suggested  that 
they  go  South  for  the  winter  instead  of 
opening  the  little  house  down  the  street. 
He  went  so  far  as  to  offer  to  pay  the 
expenses  of  the  trip  as  a  sort  of  belated 
wedding  gift. 

Eddie  objected.  He  said  that  his 
real  estate  business  was  in  such  a  state 
that  he  couldn't  afford  to  leave  it  for  a 
day. 

"  I  didn't  know  you  had  a  business," 
exclaimed  the  General. 

"  I  am  making  arrangements  to  take 
up  a  Government  claim  in  Alaska," 
said  his  son-in-law  grimly. 

"Great    Scott!" 

"I'm  going  to  some  place  where  I  can 
dig  for  gold." 

"Are  you  in  earnest?" 

"  Bitterly." 

[96] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  And — and  would  you  subject  Mar- 
tha to  the  rigours  of  an  Alaskan  winter 
in " 

'  Inasmuch  as  we  shall  have  to  sub- 
sist on  snowballs  until  you  pass  in 
your  cheques,  General,  I  think  we'd 
better  go  where  they  are  fresh  and 
plentiful." 

Fortunately  for  the  bride  and  groom, 
everybody  that  was  anybody  in  Essex 
gave  them  a  wedding  present.  Not  a 
few,  in  a  fever  of  exaltation,  gave  be- 
yond their  means,  and  a  great  many 
of  them  with  unintentional  irony  gave 
pickle  dishes.  By  the  time  they  were 
ready  to  go  into  their  new  home,  it  was 
cosily,  even  handsomely  furnished.  The 
General,  contrite  of  heart,  spent  money 
lavishly  in  trying  to  make  the  home  so 
attractive  for  Eddie  that  he  wouldn't 
be  likely  to  desert  it  for  something  worse. 

[98] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

The  groom's  sense  of  humour  was  only 
temporarily  dulled.  He  noted  signs 
of  its  awakening  when  he  assisted  in 
the  unpacking  of  four  cheval  mirrors, 
gifts  to  the  bride  from  persons  who 
may  or  may  not  have  been  in  collusion 
but  who  certainly  wanted  Martha  to 
see  herself  as  others  saw  her,  and,  as 
it  turned  out,  from  all  sides. 

The  glow  of  health — an  almost  super- 
human health — increased  in  the  counte- 
nance of  Mrs.  Edward  Ten  Eyck.  Her 
hair  was  a  bit  slow  in  restoring  itself, 
and  a  shade  or  two  darker,  but  on  the 
other  hand,  despite  all  she  could  do  to 
prevent  it,  she  resumed  her  natural  pro- 
portions with  a  rapidity  that  was  sick- 
ening. 

It  was  not  long  before  her  figure  was 
unquestionably  her  own. 

Eddie  tried  to  conceal  his  dismay.  He 
[100] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


even  tried  to  drown  it.  Their  first 
quarrel  grew  out  of  her  objection  to 
the  presence  of  intoxicating  liquors  in 
the  house." 

"  I  don't  approve  of  whiskey,"  she  said 

flatly. 

[101] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  But  you  had  it  at  your  house." 

"  You  forget  that  he  was  only  my 
step-father." 

"  He  isn't  in  the  past  tense  yet,"  said 
he  bitterly. 

"I've  always  maintained  that  whiskey 
should  be  used  for  medicinal  purposes 
only." 

"  Then  please  don't  worry  about  it," 
said  he  curtly.  "  I've  ordered  a  barrel 
of  it." 

"For — for  medicinal  purposes?' 

"  Strictly." 

She  studied  his  face  with  uneasy  alarm 
in  her  eyes. 

"  You  —  don't  feel  as  though 
you  were  going  to  be  ill,  do  you, 
dear? " 

He  moved  to  the  opposite  side  of 
the  table,  involuntarily  lifting  his  left 
elbow    as    if    to    shield    himself.      She 

[102] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


stopped    half-way.      Then    he    laughed 
awkwardly   and  turned  the   subject. 

One  day  he  reached  the  startling  con- 
clusion that  she  was  getting  heavier  than 
she  had  ever  been  before.     It  required 

[103] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

days  of  contemplation,  scrutiny,  and 
development  of  purpose  before  he  could 
ask  her  to  step  onto  the  scales  at  the 
meat  market. 

A  cold  perspiration  started  on  his 
forehead  as  he  moved  the  balance  along 
the  bar  and  found  it  would  be  neces- 
sary to  use  the  two-hundred  pound 
weight  instead  of  the  one-hundred,  the 
fifty,  and  divers  small  ones  that  had 
been  sufficient  in  days  of  yore. 

She  weighed  two  hundred  and  three 
pounds. 

At  nine  o'clock  that  night  some  one 
took  him  home  from  the  Essex  Club, 
and  Martha  was  in  hysterics  until  the 
doctor,  summoned  with  haste  and 
vehemence,  assured  her  that  her  hus- 
band was  not  dead. 

The  approach  of  springtime  found 
Eddie    in    a    noticeably    run-down    con- 

[  104  ] 


2'--y- 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

dition.  Friends  and  acquaintances  be- 
gan to  remark  that  he  was  "  going  to 
seed  in  a  hurry,"  or  "  he's  awfully  run 
down  at  the  heel,"  or  '  I've  never  seen 
such  a  change  in  a  man." 

He  was  no  longer  the  gay,  whilom,  in- 
consequent man  about  town.  The  best 
proof  of  this  was  his  utter  lack  of  pride 
in  the  matter  of  dress  and  his  careless- 
ness in  respect  to  his  personal  appear- 
ance. Once  he  had  been  the  beau-ideal 
of  the  town.  Nowadays  he  slouched 
about  the  streets  with  a  cigarette  droop- 
ing listlessly  between  his  lips,  his  face 
unshaven,  his  clothes  unpressed  and 
dusty.  There  was  always  a  hunted, 
far-away  look  in  his  eyes. 

Habitues  of  the  Club  began  to  notice 
that  he  was  once  more  making  mathe- 
matical calculations  on  the  backs  of  en- 
velopes  or  the   margins   of   newspapers 

[106] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


and  magazines.  No  one  pretended  to 
explain  this  queer  habit  of  his,  but  they 
observed  that  his  efforts  represented 
sums  in  multiplication.  Occasionally,  as 
if  to  throw  them  off  the  track,  he  did  a 
sum  in  subtraction,  and  there  were  fre- 
quent lapses  into  simplified  addition. 

[107] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

It  was  noted,  however,  that  the 
numerals  one,  nine,  decimal,  two  and  a 
cipher,  invariably  in  that  sequence,  fig- 
ured somewhere  in  every  calculation. 

General  Gamble  could  have  solved 
the  mystery,  but  he  maintained  a  rigid 
silence.  In  his  heart,  the  old  schemer 
nurtured  a  fear  that  sooner  or  later  Ed- 
die would  commit  suicide  or  run  away, 
either  of  which  would  signify  the  return 
of  Martha  to  the  mansion  she  had  de- 
serted for  a  cottage.  And  he  knew  that 
if  she  ever  came  back  it  would  be  as 
a  permanent  visitor. 

He  encountered  his  son-in-law  fre- 
quently at  unexpected  times  and  in  un- 
usual places,  and  was  never  without  the 
feeling  that  the  young  man  eyed  him 
balefully.  He  could  feel  the  intensity  of 
that  unwavering  gaze  for  hours  after 
meeting    Eddie.       It    was    an    ardent, 

[108] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

searching  look  that  seemed  to  question 
his   right   to    survive   the    day. 

After  such  meetings,  the  General  was 
wont  to  survey  himself  long  and  fear- 
somely  in  the  first  mirror  or  show  win- 
dow that  presented  itself.  He  began 
to  wonder  if  he  was  in  failing  health. 
At  times  he  thought  he  discerned  signs 
of  approaching  decrepitude,  but  his  doc- 
tor assured  him  that  he  was  never 
healthier  or  happier  than  he  appeared 
to  be  at  this  particular  period  in  his  life. 

Still,  he  could  not  shake  off  the  rather 
ghastly  feeling  that  Eddie  was  secretly 
praying  that  his  days  were  numbered. 

One  day  at  the  Club  he  complained  of 
a  severe  pain  in  his  back,  and  the  very 
next  day  he  was  shocked  to  find  his 
son-in-law  dressed  in  sombre  black  with 
a  strip  of  crape  around  his  arm.  Im- 
mediately on  seeing  the  General  in  his 

[110] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 


usual  state  of  health,  Eddie  solemnly 
removed  the  band  from  his  sleeve  and, 
carefully  rolling  it  up,  stuck  it  into  his 
waistcoat  pocket. 

[  m  ] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  I'm  saving  it  for  a  rainy  day,"  said 
Eddie   with   a   cold-blooded   smile. 

"Good  Heaven!'  said  the  General, 
and  at  once  felt  the  pain  return  to  his 
back. 

"Have  you  seen  Martha  lately?" 
asked  Eddie,  tapping  the  bell  on  the 
table. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  the  General,  settling 
a  little  deej^er  into  his  chair.  "  She  is 
looking  remarkably  well." 

'Do  you  know  what  she  weighs  at 
present?  " 

"  Of  course  not.  She  took  the  scales 
over  to  your  house.  Besides,  I  don't 
care  a  hang." 

'  Day  before  yesterday  she  weighed 
two  hundred  and  ninety-eight  pounds." 
His  voice  rose  to  a  shrill  screech.  "  It's 
a  blamed  outrage!  "  He  dropped  his 
chin  into  his  hands   and  went   on  mut- 

[112] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

tering   vaguely,    his    eyes    glued    to    the 

top  button  of  the  General's  waistcoat. 
'  By  Jove,  she  is  doing  well." 
'  She  can  hardly  walk.     If  she  keeps 

on,    she    won't 

be   able  to  see, 

either.        Her 


eyes  are  almost 
lost.  I  screwed 
up  the  courage 
to  take  a  long 
look  at  her  to- 
day. She  has 
lost  her  neck  en- 


[113] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

tirely   and   I  haven't  the  remotest   idea 
where  her  ears  are." 

"  I — I  do  feel  sorry  for  you,  Eddie," 
cried  the  General,  moved  by  unexpected 
compunction. 

Eddie  rambled  on.  '  Sometimes  I 
sit  down  and  actually  watch  her  grow. 
You  can  notice  it  if  you  look  steadily 
for  a  given  time." 

The  two  sat  stiff  and  silent  for  many 
minutes.  Eddie  stole  a  sly  glance  at 
his  companion's  ruddy  face. 

"  You  are  a  remarkably  well  preserved 
man,  General,"  he  ventured  specula- 
tively. "  Would  you  mind  telling  me 
your  age?" 

'  I  am  seventy-one,  Eddie,  if  it  is 
any  encouragement  to  you,"  said  the 
General   eagerly. 

'  You  look  good  for  another  ten 
years,"  said  Eddie  hopelessly. 

[114] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

*  I  am  a  little  worried  about  my 
heart,"  prevaricated  the  General.  He 
meant  to  be  magnanimous.  Ed- 
die did  not  look  up,  but  his  eyes 
began  to  blink  rapidly.  "  There 
is  heart  disease  in  the  family,  you 
know." 

'  Then  maybe  Martha  has — er — 
has " 

"  Has  what,  my  son? " 

'  I  forgot.  She  is  only  your  step- 
daughter. I  was  worried  for  a  moment, 
that's  all." 

In  the  fall  of  the  year,  Eddie  an- 
nounced to  his  father-in-law  that  Martha 
was  tipping  the  beam  at  three  hundred 
and  fourteen  pounds,  three  ounces,  and 
increasing  daily.  The  General  gave 
vent  to  an  uneasy  laugh,  whereupon  Ed- 
die, mistaking  his  motive,  launched  into 
a  tirade  that  ended  with  the  frantic  wish 

[115] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

that  the  old  man  would  hurry  up  and 
die. 

"Now,  Eddie,  don't  talk  like  that! 
I  have  about  made  up  my  mind  to  do 
something  handsome  for  you  and  Mar- 
tha. I  have  practically  decided  to  make 
her  an  allowance  for  clothing  and  so 
forth " 

"Clothing!"  groaned  Eddie.  "She 
doesn't  want  clothes.  What  could  she 
do  with  'em?  I  am  the  one  who  needs 
clothes.  Look  at  me.  Look  at  the 
frayed  edges  and  see  how  I  shine  in 
the  back.  There  is  a  patch  or  two 
that  you  can't  see.  I  put  those  patches 
on  myself,  too.  Martha  is  so  darned 
fat  she  can't  hold  a  pair  of  trousers 
in  her  lap.  Moreover,  she  can't  sew 
with  anything  smaller  than  a  crochet 
needle.  Look  at  me!  I  am  growing 
a   beard    so    that    people    can't    see   my 

[116] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

Adam's  apple. 
That's  how  poor 
and  thin  I'm 
getting  to  be. 
Now  just  listen 
a  minute;  I'll 
give  you  a  few 
figures  that  will 
paralyse  you." 

He  jerked  out 
his  lead  pencil 
and  with  the 
rapidity  of  a 
lightning  calcu- 
lator multiplied, 
added,  and  sub- 
tracted. 

* '  She  is  worth 
$72,403.20  to- 
day. What  do 
you     think     of 

[117] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

that?     Prove   the   figures    for    yourself. 
Here's  the  pencil." 

"  I    don't    care    to " 

"  The  day  of  the  wedding,"  went  on 
Eddie  wildly,  "  she  weighed  in  at 
$16,972.80,  I  think.  See  what  I  mean? 
She's  bulling  the  market  and  I  can't 
realise  a  cent  on  her.  She's  gone  up 
$55,430  in  less  than  a  year.  Suffering 
Isaac!  Why  couldn't  she  have  weighed 
that  much  a  year  ago?'  He  was  so 
furious  that  he  chopped  off  his  words 
in  such  a  way  that  they  sounded  like 
the  barking  of  a  dog. 

The  General  pushed  back  his  chair  in 
alarm. 

"  Calm  yourself,  Eddie." 

"  Oh,  I'm  calm  enough." 
'  Martha  will  be  a  veiy  rich  woman 
when  I  die,  and  you  won't  have  to " 

'  That   sounds    beautiful.      But    don't 
[118] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

you  see  that  she's  getting  so  blamed 
fat  that  she's  liable  to  tip  over  some 
day  and  die  before  I  can  find  any  one 
to  help  me  set  her  up  again?  And  if 
that  should  happen,  will  you  kindly  tell 
me  where  I  would  come  in?  " 

"  You  are  a  heartless,  mercenary 
scoundrel,"   gasped   the   General. 

"  Well,  you  would  be  sore,  too,  if 
this  thing  had  happened  to  you,"  whined 
Eddie.  He  sprang  to  his  feet  suddenly. 
"  By  thunder,  I  can't  stand  it  a  day 
longer.  Good-bye,  General.  I'm  going 
to   skip   out." 

'  Skip    out!      Leave    her?      Is    that 
what  you   mean?  " 

Yes.     She  can  always  find  a  happy 
home  with  her  mother  and  you.     I'm  off 

to  the " 

'  For  Heaven's  sake,"  cried  the  Gen- 
eral   hoarsely,    "  don't    do    that,    Eddie. 

[119] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

Don't  you  dare  do  anything  like  that. 
I — I — I  am  sure  we  can  arrange  some- 
thing between  us.  I'm  not  a  stingy, 
hard-hearted  man,  and  you  know  it. 
You  deserve  relief.  You  deserve  com- 
pensation. I  am  your  father-in-law  and, 
damme,  I'll  not  go  back  on  you  in  your 
time  of  need.  I'll  make  up  the  amount 
you  have  already  lost,  'pon  my  soul  I 
will,  Eddie.  Stand  by  your  guns,  that's 
all  I  ask." 

A  seraphic  expression  came  into  Ed- 
die's  face.     "When?"   he   demanded. 

"  Immediately.  Can  you  come  to 
my     house    this    evening?       Alone,     of 


course." 


"I  should  say  I  can!'  shouted  Ed- 
die, growing  two  inches  taller  in  an 
instant.  He  took  the  package  of  crape 
from  his  pocket  and  threw  it  into  a 
cuspidor.     Then  he   sighed  profoundly. 

[120] 


Her  Weight  in  Gold 

"  Gad,  have  you  ever  felt  like  another 
man,  General?    It's  great." 

As  the  General  was  past  the  point 
where  he  could  risk  saying  another 
word,  he  maintained  a  strenuous  silence. 

Eddie  indulged  in  an  expansive  grin. 
"  You  asked  if  I  could  come  alone. 
That's  the  only  way  I  can  come.  If 
you  ever  expect  to  see  Martha,  Gen- 
eral, you  will  have  to  come  to  my  house 
to  do  so.  Do  you  remember  that  say- 
ing about  Mahomet  and  the  mountain? ' 


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